A while ago I wrote about Venus and Pluto in synastry. Mind you, this proved to me the most popular article on this blog, for more than a year. Apparently, a lot of people are interested in these types of contacts. And for a good reason. Venus is, in anyone’s chart, the way they experience love and, to a deeper level, connection.
Now, let’s look a little bit at how Venus plays out with Mars. If Venus is love, Mars is anger. If Venus is connection, Mars is disruption. If Venus is conviviality and good times, Mars is aggression and status quo challenge. They’re obviously at the opposite sides of any stick you’d pick in this world. Venus and Mars, they are the extremes.
But it’s exactly because they are the extremes that they need so badly. They’re completing each other. They’re balancing each other energies so we’re not swamping into one of the extremes. And the extremes may be very deceiving with Venus and Mars. If we have to much Venus, then we’ll be complacent. Or, simply put, bored. Somehow satisfied, but bored. If we have too much Mars, we’ll be reckless. And restless. We’ll be on the lookout for new experiences, for new angles, for new stuff. We’re gonna challenge the hell out of our partner, just because the aggressive approach of Mars is unbalanced.
The following interpretations are for the woman Mars and the man Venus. In a woman chart, Mars represents the sexual and physical energy to which she’s falling instinctually and in a man’s chart, Venus represents the feminine energy to which he’s responding as well, instinctually. So, let’s briefly look up some possible combinations of a Venus Mars synastry.
Venus conjunct Mars
If you have this in your synastry chart, it’s great. It’s not a bliss, in a sense of Venus / Moon contacts, when it feels soft and dreamy. But it’s a dynamic so powerful and so easily felt, that you are simply drawn to each other like magnets. So, in other words, it’s extremely good news.
The energies of the two planets are completely balancing each other and the sexual chemistry is working even when the people involved are not even in the same room. It’s something so powerful that it may feel two strangers compelled to hug each other “for no reason at all”.
If there are no challenging aspects to Venus and Mars (like square or oppositions), and if the challenging aspects of the entire chart are moderately reduced, this contact alone gives a very high probability of a very fulfilling romantic relationship for both parts.
Venus square Mars
In this case the attraction is still there, but it’s more or less unconscious, repressed or not expressed openly by various reasons. The attraction is felt more like a dormant “buzz” which is always present, but none of the people involved can actually identify it, or use it fully.
The aspects denotes a relationship in which the two principles will more likely encounter difficulties with each other, in order to bring their attraction to light. It’s like they know they’re attracted to each other, but can’t make it happen.
This aspects adds a noticeable vibration of frustration to the relationship, especially from the Mars part (the woman).
Venus opposite Mars
Welcome to the roller-coaster. This is the place where things actually get dangerous. It’s an aspect which denotes frequent ups and downs of the feelings of attraction, or of the relationship itself. It doesn’t add problems by itself, as long as the two people are mature enough to accept this “fleeting” characteristic, but if they’re not, it may turn out into a game of “hide and seek”, when one of them is feeling on and the other is off and tries to withdraw.
Because of the nature of the opposition, which polarizes the energies even more, when the attraction is present, in bursts and bouts, it’s usually much stronger than in the case of opposition, where it has a more constant quality. That’s another reason that adds up to the fatigue that may built over time between the two lovers.
Sexual Polarity
Now, if we talk about a woman’s Mars and a man’s Venus, things are clear. Venus is feminine principle, needed in the man’s chart, Mars is the masculine principle, to which the woman is longing for, so everything goes pretty much by the manual.
But what happens if we find a contact involving a man’s Mars and a woman’s Venus? In my experience, this is going on pretty well too, although not as spectacular as in the first case. There are a few points to consider:
- first of all, the man’s Mars may feel at times weakened or even irritated by the woman’s Venus. The underlying attraction is still working, but sometimes it’s not that smooth.
- second, the woman’s Venus may feel threatened by the man’s display of power of independence and there may be episodes of withdrawal.
- third, both need to accept at times to change their roles, especially in their day to day lives, lessening a bit the supplementary tension that may arise from this.
One Small Note About Venus / Mars in Synastry
Please be aware that the contacts of Venus and Mars should be considered in regard with other aspects in the chart as well. Venus and Mars dynamics are just a part of the bigger interplay of two persons. It’s a fundamental energy, it’s a very necessary one, but it’s not the only one driving a relationship. It can certainly bring two people together, but for this closeness to last, there are other placements that one should consider, Saturn being the most important. Although Saturn brings restraint, it also brings stability and long term fulfillment.
I’m obsessed with a guy.My Mars is conjunct his Venus,in the same sign(aquarius). I’m sexually attracted to him in like a very obsessive way,but I think he does not feel the same for me.
There may be many other factors at play. This conjunction by itself tells only that your sexual energy may be aroused by the way he presents himself. Anyways, these are just potentials.
What about trines between these two planets in synastry?
There’s a guy I know whose mars conjuncts my venus in vrigo. My cancer mars opposes his Capricorn venus. He’s obsessed with me and I find him absolutely repellent. SKIN CRAWL LEVEL
This girl’s Mars is conjunct my Venus at a tight orb (1 degree). Her Mars is in Leo and my Venus is in Leo.
Just from an attraction standpoint, would this be considered powerful?
I’ve read a lot that when the roles are reversed (woman is Mars and man is Venus), the energies aren’t in their “ideal” state and the effect is less powerful.
Thoughts?
It can be an attraction factor: in a woman chart, Mars represents her perception of masculinity and they way she approaches physical activity, her passion and aggressiveness. I think this would make you feel both very at east with each other, very adventure-oriented and willing to “take the stage” in many activities together. But there are many aspects needed in order to create an accurate picture of a synastry.
The weirdest thing? My venus his mars conj orb less than 1 degree. We dated for many months, no sex. I liked him but not crazy in love. I took all initiative in bed, but could not do so much as i felt his unease or even unwillingness. He likes to hug and kiss in public. Strange. We also have my moon con his venus in pisces. This is just too much”!” maybe the sun-sun inconjunct is really bad?